For many of us, we build our identities around our accomplishments. For example, a career, a sport or even a relationship. Years are spent perfecting, building credibility, learning and immersing ourselves into a world that helps shape our dreams, advancing toward our goals, and defining who we are as a person. All of the years dedicating ourselves to our accomplishments become actual extensions of our physical body and our mind. Extensions that are so deeply rooted, that if the roots are broken, we question who we are. Grieving the loss of who we once were, or how we identified, is a serious process that takes time to get through. Why we grieve is just as complex, and unique as the processes that help us recover. So, how do we step into new circumstances, and relearn how to live our lives again?
There is nothing permanent except change. - Heraclitus
When it feels like you are starting over with your life, these 3 tips may help you navigate the scary process.
Build A Relationship With Change Through Acceptance: When there is a drastic shift in life, we often scramble for solutions, and have an immediate urgency to hang on to, or replicate what brought us joy in the past. In the back of your mind, you know you need to move on, and accept your loss. But, at the same time, you will do anything it takes to hold on to what you once had. Drastic changes can feel like life is stealing your identity. When you try to connect with something new that you have no history or knowledge about, anger, fear, resentment, and feelings around self-worth can be triggered. Acceptance isn’t something that comes easy, it’s a process that takes time. Keep acceptance in the back of your mind, and eventually you will be able to confidently let go of the things you cannot control, and bloom where life has decided to plant you.
You Have A Voice In Your Identity: When you become overwhelmed with life’s constant shifts, remember that you have a say in how these new shifts impact your self-worth. Identity is negotiable, and is not concrete. When you can accept that change is inevitable, you can build stronger tools to face changes that challenge your identity. There is no mathematical equation to keeping your life constant, no matter how secure you may be in your life, or how diligent your routines are. Adaptability is key to recognizing that there are opportunities for growth, learning and transformation.
Discover Your Own Personalized Transformation Plan: You can meditate, journal, take up therapy sessions, all things that may or may not work for you. The process of recovery starts with exploring which methods of healing are effective. Get curious and innovative with your techniques. There is not one way to go about starting your life again. When life happens, and inflicts drastic changes, the process of rebuilding becomes a discovery of personal power. Through trial and error, you ultimately decide what will bring you peace, and joy as you navigate within the new and disorienting process of change. A helpful question you can ask yourself is, what about my previous circumstances, dreams, or career, brought me so much joy? Then set out on finding new things that turn your curiosity on in similar ways.
The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new. - Socrates
What’s unique about our species is our qualities of perseverance, and resilience. Dreams can end in an instant, and initially there is a refusal to accept what’s happened. We keep trying to do what we instinctively know, refusing to adapt to the new reality. Life is constantly changing, it never stays constant, and sometimes those changes position us to “start over.” Change is always met with resistance at first, until we learn that our superpower lies in resilience, and adaptability. We can accept change and build strength through the discovery of new truths, and new joys. As intimidating, scary and unknown as life’s shifts can be, our transcendence and growth comes from these multilayered complexities that sometimes position us at the very beginning again. When you step into the unknown, even unwillingly, don’t underestimate your resilience.
Ashleigh
InCasa Yoga
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